coming fast

So the date to the Philippines is rapidly approaching, I can’t believe its almost here. June 6th is when I will be flying and the school starts the 9th.

Here the thing, what you were all waiting for when you opened this letter so I won’t make you wait any longer. I am still in need of money, I really wish that this world was not so heavily reliant on money, it’s so frustrating. All I want to do is change the world is that so much to ask? But to do that I need money, grr to that.

I still need about 1,800 for the program, which I know G-d will provide, but here’s the point of me writing this, here’s where you can come in and help me change the world, you can help me help bring treatment to poor men, women and children that otherwise would not get it, as well as equip me with the ability to help out in hospitals and clinics in whatever third world country I will be in.

Now you might be saying that’s nice and all, but i don’t really have money, or it’s too much effort to make out a check and send it. Well I am going to tell you that every bit counts, every dollar counts. It make a huge difference to me and a huge difference to G-d.

Program website:
http://www.mercylinkonline.com/index.php?page=mini-medical-school

Now there’s an account for the program that you could send it to, but it cost money to use it and it takes money out on my end so its not the best deal however if you would like to send money that way let me know and i will give you the info.

Or if you would like to send money through paypal then let me know as well.

They own me

Do you want to tell me how I got here

Laying on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears

Do you want to tell me why I’m in this place

I remember I use to have a smile on my face

Every day

I was happy

I would walk with confidences

Talk with joy

Everything was going great

But now I feel so lost and destroyed

Like I have nothing left inside of me

I have been washed out

Broken

And I am sick of it all

Lies are flooding in

Don’t know how to get rid of them

Watch the TV let it blinded me

Consuming my mind

Buy the products, that they told me.

Now I can say that they own me
Don’t want to be owned by them

So would you take my hand

And tell me how to get out of here

All I want it out

Want to get out

Want to let it all go

When it’s hard to breath

I have learn from countless times of not being able to breathe,

because the weight of the world seems to have been

so conveniently been placed on my shoulders,

to simply take is off and put it in the hands of Abba.

In fact I can’t take it off most of the time.

I have learned to say, Daddy its too heavy can you carry it.

Never once has He said no.

Then I can breathe again and hop, skip, jump and twirl.

Dancing in the rain is hard with sextillion tons on your shoulders.

It’s hard when all you see is eyes looking, lurking, judging.

When the walls are closing in on you and the world is weighing down on

You, its hard to keep breathing let along keep your head up.

As the walls close in again I ask Daddy can you give me new eyes to

See that there really are not walls there, and He does.

When it gets hard to breathe I ask for more air,

When is gets hard to stand I ask Him for a hand,

When my head is heavy and can’t stay up, He is there to whole it up.

He not only protects me from a storm but dance in it with me.

My joy is to be found in Him even when there is no joy to be seen when

you look around.

When I am standing alone in the middle of a busy intersection with

cars wiping by and stop lights changing every few seconds.

I know that even if the eyes looking at me think I’m crazy

and shake there head cus they don’t understand

I know that I am understood by the only One that needs to understand me.

 

O Ad-nai is O so amazing

My other half

Its summer, the weather is warm

Yet I am cold

Freezing, shivering shakings

You could blast the heat, pile blankets on me

Shaking I will still be

The cold comes from a deep place in my heart

An empty one

A place I never even knew I had

My eyes have now been open to it

All this time I have been just fine

But now I see that empty space

And realize that half of me is missing

The half of me I never new I had

The half of me that makes me feel complete

And with that empty space looking me in the face

I grow cold

The piece of me that’s missing is also my warmth

My smile my laugh

The reason for my beating heart

And with out my other half I don’t think I could ever feel fully alive

So far away

I want to dance around the starts tonight

twirl around in the sky, wish that I could fly

hold the moon in my arms

how amazing that would be 

but oh so meaningless to me

the only desire of my heart 

is that we are not so far apart 

so I dance around the sky

trying not to fall apart

you seem feather then the moon

no matter how far I try to reach 

“grow longer arms”

“twirl more spinning girl”

be a pulling force, so the earth rotates faster

for life is to slow.

as hard as I stretch, I can not reach

as fast as I spin, rotation does not speed 

now am just dizzy

I will just dance around the sky until the sun starts to peak out and rise

lay my back on the dew covered grass 

feel warmth on my face and hope in my heart

I know, no matter how long the night seems to last

the sun always rises. bringing light to a dark sky

I need to just trust in that.

This I believe…

This is a piece that I wrote last year in school, I just came across it 
and thought I would share it.

The room is starting to spin.  People’s appearances are slowing fading,  heart beating, body sweating, feet moving, arms stretching.  Noise and judgment of the room dims as I enter a place where there’s an overwhelming feeling of my daddy smiling upon me.  A place where no one can hurt me, where I am strong and ready to fight. When I am dancing, not for the style or technique, but for the feeling, the rush of blood circulating quickly flowing all over my body as my lungs expand and contract, with my heart beating faster and faster, I feel free.  When I am singing, and I mean really singing, like with eyes closed and heart wide open, not caring how loud I am singing or who hears, I am free. The whole world seems to disappear and all that matters is I sing what I feel, or dance my expiration.  When I completely let go, when I am only aware of the world in my subconscious mind, when I’m not holding back, when I am giving singing or dancing all I’ve got.  That’s when I feel free, truly free.  When I shut the world out so that I don’t care whether dancing in my room with the door shut or in a room with tons of people looking at me like I’m crazy.  When I stop caring about what people think, that’s when I feel truly free.

Many people say that the government takes away our freedom, that school takes away our creative expression, that parents take away what we should be experiencing from life.  I believe that, true, undeniable freedom comes from within.  The freedom to not care.  I feel the we are bound by feeling as though we need to look a particular way, act a certain way, or just be a certain way.  So we set up all these rules to help us live up to whatever it is to fit in, to live that “status quo” that everyone seems to strive for, believing that when they reach it they will be happy and if they are happy, they will have freedom.  In truth, we are just taking away our very beings, focusing our energy on the outside picture, walking on tip toes, hoping that people will notice us, but that we won’t offend anyone. When I can let my pen hit the page and leak out my inner most deepest feelings and not worry about what others will think or whether I offend anyone, that’s when I feel free; When things can be heard like seen in my head; when my mind feels open and my heart can say whatever it feels.  That’s what I believe is freedom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have put something inside of you

this is special, I don’t make mistakes

Let it out let it out, stop hiding yourself 

by hiding yourself you are hinding 

Part of me I have put inside of you

I dont want to be hidden

 

Our design

Genesis 1:17 So El-him created humankind in His image, in the image of El-him He created them; male and female He created them.

El-him (G-d, Mighty Creator) created humankind, we are humankind so He created us. Not only did He form us and breathe life into us, He created us in His image.  Now I have heard that a lot over the years, “you are made in the image of El-him” but what does that really mean?  

When something is made in the image of something, it might look similar or it might have similar qualities and with that you could go to say that we each have a piece of the Creator inside of us.

Look around at humankind, the same humankind that is created in the image of the Creator. There are so many different people they look different they talk different they act different, and you don’t even have to leave the country or even your neighborhood to see that. So often people have the feeling that Ad-nai is trying to hind from us that He will not show His face, but look around you.  Ad-nai has placed pieces of Him all around you, He is so vast that He needed to make so many unique human-beings, so we can get a better picture of who He is, is He really hiding or Is He all around us, and are people really distracting you from seeing Ad-nai or by seeing people will we see our Creator better?

If we were to acknowledge that, we are image bares of the Mighty Creator how would that change the way we look at others, ourselves and Ad-nai?