being broken down for a love so much bigger and greater then comprehension



I  barely had my gloves on and there the head was, making it’s way through the birth canal, awaiting me to catch it. I grabbed the head the body slipped out and the cord was cut. I am not even sure quite what happened, because it happened too fast. At 6:14pm there was a baby boy born. He was taken away to get clean, all the nurses left and there I was holding the umbilicle cord, left on my own to deliver the placenta, thankfully Andrea was on duty with me that night and having done this before she talked me through it, in a few minutes there was the placenta in my hand, the sac that the baby lived in for the last 9 ½ months. Then I cleaned out the momma, now in the states we don’t do this unless the placenta tears and we just wait a week for all the extra tissue to come out on its own. But in this hospital they do, so I put my hand in the uterus and feel around fore the extra tissue and try to scoop it all out. It was a wierd feeling to have your hand inside a woman but then it was such a natural thing and part of the process. It did not grose me out or seem that strange. After I did that the nurses were all back in the room, to surture up the tear that had happened when the baby came out. I held the string and blotted blood , she asked if I wanted to stick the needle in, the first words out of my mouth were NO, before I even thought about it, as much I want to learn how I was not going to learn now, my praceting on a banana had not giving me the confidence that I needed and we did not learn how to do deep tears like this one. 
Then it was over. The baby was healthy 2.6kg. I am still in awe that I delivered a baby I have to keep reminding myself that it happened. Oh how awesome is Ad-nai. Just so awesome.



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