So much more
If I have learned anything over this past year it should be that, ‘its not about me’.
So often I focus on myself, what am I going to get out of this? How am I going to change? What do I want to do? How hard is it going to be for me? Am I ready?
But were do I get off asking those selfish questions?
My life and the things that I do are not about me. I know this, yet I cant seem to grab it and keep it for slipping form my finger tips.
Now I know I’m not going out on a lim when I say that I am not the only one that deals with this problem.
It has a lot to do with the media and how our culture teaches us to focuses inward. theres nothing wrong with looking in the mirror at yourself but there is something wrong if thats all you see and care about or think thats all that its about.
I have to say I think that is one of the main lessions Ad-nai has been really ‘trying’ to teach me. I say trying because well I have not really been the best student in this subject.
If this was a teacher trying to teach me something I feel like they would of shaken me at this point and said “i dont know how else to tell you, why cant you just get it” and well in a way He has. and maybe the explanations of the learning and shaking should go in an other blog.
All I know is Ad-nai must of used more then 50 ways (big and small, some even drastic) to get to me to understand this, and well I think im starting to get it.
When Ad-nai asked me to do something I have the tendency to question how stressful its going to be and how im going to fit it into ‘my life’, and wather or not I feel I can handle it.
But what He is asking of me really has nothing to do with me, in a way it dose but not really, its so much more then that. He is not asking me to do things cus He thinks I might have fun doing them or it would be a good growing experience, He is simply saying I am working on a puzzle ,I needed you to be a piece, But its not about the piece that I am, it’s about the whole puzzle, the bigger picture.
So it dosent really matter that it might be hard for me, or i dont really have time or i so much rather be doing somthing else, cus its not about my piece but its about the pieacs that go in after me, its about completing the puzzle, it about giving glory where glory is due.
Am i ready? do i really think Ad-nai care weather i think i am ready or not, when He say go you go, thats that.
So whatever selfish complexes I got going on Ad-nai has to shake them out of me so He can finish the puzzle, see the whole picture and be glorified for that.
Its not about me, its so much bigger then that. So so so much bigger.
and its also about how He works threw me to do His will, He is just so awesome, there are not even words.