being broken down for a love so much bigger and greater then comprehension

What ever Your doing inside of me…

Sanctus Real, Whatever Your doing..

What is going on inside of me? Ad-nai what are you doing? I feel so so so losts confused, overwhelmed… yet at the same time i feel found, sure and at peace. How in the world can I feel both those things at the same time? I feel so disconnected yet I feel close. It’s like Your asking things off me and I just dont get it, I just don’t.

The best way to explain is to use the lyrics of this awesome song by Sanctus Real.

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something heavenly

In the pastIi have been known to  fight the chaos and try to find my own peace in life, to hold  on, try to solve everything myself. I am trying so hard to let go of that

It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

I’m putting a stop to the silliness that I have been seeming to mass produce over the years. I’m surrendering…thats all I can do, thats all there is to do.  But you cant surrender and then pick your gun back up and go back into battle and well thats what I have been doing. Making a mess of something that, well that dose not have to be so messy.

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

 Even though I feel like I’m moving in circles all I can do is keep moving forward.  

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender… 

So in the mist of this wave crashing over me, in the mist of this storm, in the mist of this chaos I surrender, Ad-nai its up to You. I have no idea what your doing inside of me or what’s going to become of it. I’m going to stop fighting it. Just help me out please, because I can not see.

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

being broken and restored for You.


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