being broken down for a love so much bigger and greater then comprehension

NREMT

So Im sitting outside of metro center where I’m about to take the NREMT exam, having arrived extremely early to avoid anything from making me late or stressed I had lots of time to think.  When first thinking of this test and how I had to take it to get my licence and knowing that it was the one thing that could stand in my way from being an EMT is scared me, worried me, stressed me out. The closer I got to the test the less I worried about, until of course I had to pick a date to test and it felt as if the fate of the rest of my life was hanging in the balance. As I said that out loud to my friend I realized just how silly that was. I dont even believe in fate, one single event cant change your life unless you let it.  If I don’t pass the test my life is not over it just means I have to take it over or maybe it means G-d needed to humble me once again… seeing that I got a little too over confident in my abilities and forgot why I took the EMT course in the first place; to glorify G-d ..thats all I care about anyway. Grades and lisence dont matter and I certainly don’t need to prove anything to G-d because I prove to Him everday that I’m unworthy ,yet He still loves me, He still chooses me, so, whatever happens, happens because no matter how hard I did or did not study ,how much I do or do not I  know He is in control… Period.

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