being broken down for a love so much bigger and greater then comprehension

When to move

 

I came here with respect for Tanzania with a plan to learn the culture and to be used as needed, to help, to lead a hand, but not to change things other than changing the way I do things. So I spend a lot of time watching, listening, trying to understand. It is not that I don’t know what to do, but I don’t know what they would do.

 

I am a doer so not doing is hard. The hardest part is knowing “when do I move?” when do I do?  Of course, the question that follows is “what is ok?” when you see things that could be done, do you not try to do or do you walk away?

 

There is much I don’t know. But I do know one of the hardest regrets to get over is not helping a child that you could have helped. I know what it is to not listen to your gut. I’m not talking about helping a child have what we think a child needs, like clothes or shoes which are trivial things that westerns think are important. I am talking life or death. I am talking if you don’t move it could mean death or at least lots of unnecessary physical suffering. If you move you may help or maybe not help.

I have trusted that others have it and know what they are doing before and have been shown that I was wrong. I am not saying I know best or even that I know better. But I am who I am, I see what I see. I stay still most of the time but at some point, at some moment, I have to move. I was made to move. The question is when?

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