being broken down for a love so much bigger and greater then comprehension

Where I land Next?

Last updated 5 February 2012
It’s been a while since I have updated or shared any new thoughts. Life has been very difference lately, a lot of change ha been going on and not a lot of consistence.  G-d is bringing me to a whole new place, and in a way if feels like a whole do life.  My last update I shared that I became an EMT, now I am in school to become a paramedic (which is the highest leave of pre-hospital  emergency care). School is a big under taking but it feels right and anyone that knows me knows I love to learn new things. I am also teaching CPR and babysitting classes which I enjoy doing.  The desire to go wherever G-d leads me is still very much a part of who I am, and right now I feel He is leading me here. So here I am.
I will go where He goes and be where He is..
Updated 16 April 2011

Since I have been back from Haiti I have really been thinking of how G-d wants to use me, and in oder to use me the way I feel like He dose I need to let Him shape me, take off some of the ruff edges and perfect the passion He has put in my heart.  As much as I am itching to go overseas.
s I know there are things He needs to shape in me and work in me here. One of the ways He has been shaping me this year is training me to be and EMT.  As of the moment I am licensed EMT in the states and will be looking for a job in that field to further my understanding, so when G-d has me go back I will be of more use as well as having a certification can get you into ares closed off to most people.    Addition to EMT school I have been attending the local collage here, where I’m studying health science and sign langue. Well thats the update as of now.
 Blessing to all
Last updated 24 June 2010
This last year I have been asking G-d what He wants me to do where He wants me.  Last Wednesday I find myself on a plane going to Haiti. When G-d says be ready at a moments notice He really means it.  With out really any idea what I was heading into. G-d opened up my heart, for the kids there.  I was only gone for a week and I can’t believe what we did in a short amount of time. Why Haiti you ask? Well my congeration is a part of an Orphanage and family center that is located in Haiti I have been praying for months about going expealy after the earth quake. I have been part of the team here in RI and just waiting  for G-d to tell me to go. Well it was awesome, and I know its just the beging of something awesome G-d is going to do.  I also feel lead to write more so be checking my blogs and site for new stuff, and keep coming back to this page to see what I am doing.
look for more details in my blog about the trip and what G-d has been speaking to me.
13 July, 2009
Ad-nai is awesome and in that awesomeness He has a bit of a sense of humour or at least that’s the way I have come to interpret it.  Ad-nai is takeing me out of places I have been, putting me in new places that seem familiar but now i’m looking with new eyes so its a lot different.  My heart is longing to go  over seas yet I am writing this in my house in the lovely USA where I most likely will be for awhile.
I am now leading a youth group with Ad-nai  and I will be joining a leadership training that will last a year, for this training I can stay right where I am because it all over the phone and online.  Right now I am just taking sometime and stepping back so that Ad-nai can step in, but at the same time He is having me step out over the edged that I have become good at balancing on and saying you have been hanging here to long its time to jump off.
So off I jump,  Keep checking this page to find out where I land next.
24 March, 2009

As of now I am in the U.S. The last few months I have spent a great deal of time fighting with myself and HaShem, and hiding out, as you could say. It’s really warid to think I have been back for the Philippines almost 5 months now, I still deeply miss my kids that I grew to love with the deepest love I have felt.

When I got home I kinda dug myself in a hole letting every disappointment of myself pull me a little deeper in it. Not to mention I was just so burnt out.

I grew a lot in the those 4 months of working in the center at Ruel Foundation. But I can’t honestly say I grew closer the the L-rd, in that time.  I am not saying that I ignored Him , but I did relay on myself a whole lot more then I should of, it didn’t start out that way but I slowly became more and more reliant in myself and well I kinda developed a ‘god complexs’ and with that a whole lot of useless stress.

There was so much to be done that I volunteered myself to do way to much, and because I was relaying on myself it was so much heavier then it had to be.

In that time G-d was opening my eyes to what He planted on my heart, and I was filling my arms up with tasks, that were just that, tasks. I became really busy but not so much busy in the work of the L-rd. But busy with things that ‘needed’ to be done.

Something I have learned this past month is that “the need is not the call”

See I didn’t want to leave in fact I stayed pass the time HaShem told me to go home, which is another reason why I got so brunt out. The reason I didn’t leave was because I ‘had’ to say, I was ‘needed’, there was such a need how could I not stay, but there are lots of places with the need of people to come help, but if your not told by HaShem to be there or have peace you are going to get burnt out and that’s not what they need.


I just got citified to teach CPR and Frist Aid so I hope to be teaching some classes soon and I think im going to start taking some art classes at a comuicate art yard near by.  My desire is to do the will of G-d so I want to be ready to go whenever and where ever He says, even if that means staying in the US for a while.

As of right now I feel I will stay home a while getting ready for the next steps, witch I think will be a few big ones an a long term ones at that.

I am looking at way to start raising some funds such as, teaching classes and making art to sell (right now it hand baby blankets and throws, so if your interested please contact me)

24 June, 2008

My time away feels a bit like a blur, even just to say that it has been 6 months.

for those of you that don’t know I have been in the Philippines the pass June-November. My plan was to head down there for 2 months to complete a medical course that would give me training to help out medically in developing countries.  At the end of the school I was packing my bags to go home with a torn heart tugging telling me to stay.

6th out reach

So You see in the middle of the school we had a long weekend where most of the students went to explore the Island and relax, I decided to stay and spend the weekend at Ruel Foundation that has a crises centre that provides love, care and shelter for children at risk due to severe malnutrition, abuse, neglect, or abandonment.  I had been wanting to spend some time with the kids since I first heard about them, and that was my chance so I jumped on it.

my kids

Well I fell in love 8 times and my heart broke into 8 pieces, I could not get the kids out of my head, the next few weeks. and as I packed my bags to go home I fought with G-d (i do not recommend this, just do what He says) as I had been for weeks.  “I can’t stay G-d, I can’t.”  then came the question, “Why”? “because,” I said in frustration “because it is not the plan” then a question popped in my head that shook me. ” It’s not your plan or its not My plan?”  Now that should of been enough, but I was a stubborn girl that had her foot down and wanted to go home.  The deal was to come down for two months, my two months were up and it was time to go home, on to the next thing G-d wanted… well I guess I was blind so G-d had to break me, once again. (there is more to this story)

Long story short, I broke and ended up staying for 4 months working at Ruel foundations loveing the kids and being ruined over and over again by love.  I learned a lot in the last 4 months and the most important would be that G-d knows best and when we disobey we might just miss out on blessings we could not imagine but the biggest thing is that when we disobey we miss out on countless opportunities to bless G-d, and bring His name glory.  Well I am happy to say after much reluctantness I obeyed. and it truns out that G-d really does know best.


At the moment I am reflecting on the past few months and all that G-d has opened my eyes too.  I will be trying to blog as much as possible and work on setting up my web-site now that I have a bit more time and internet is more available.

I want to thank all the people that have been trusting and hoping in G-d with me and have partnered  with my heart.

I am not going to say that it was not easy living in the the Philippines working at a crises centre, or that I jumped up with joy every morning.  But G-d is awesome so awesome that I would do it again for Him, and willing to do whatever He asks of me and hopefully my responds will not be so delayed. G-d is awesome and my love for Him is growing so much, it is just so awesome.

well thats what new.

Ill try to keep you updated keep checking on this page for updates of where I am


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